Saturday, March 28, 2009

Airline Meals - Or Why We Shouldn't Be Fed Beans in Mid-flight

For years already I’ve been suspecting that on-board flight menus are designed by people who rarely fly. And if they do fly every once in a grand while, then definitely not on long haul flights, and definitely not in economy.

Otherwise, they would have known what happens if you feed chick peas with onions to roughly 300 tightly packed people. As if being in a pressurized flying tin can did not produce enough excess gas in your bowels, the morons who create airplane meals want you to eat beans! With onions!

Sas meal
Economy class meal, SAS, Copenhagen - Narita flight on March 19th. No choice of "chicken or beef" - this is what you got. They ran out of vegetarian meals, too (even though people pre-ordered them).

I guess they never had to sit next to an onion-loving passenger who dozes off with their mouth half (or fully) open breathing onion breath right in your face. And farting bean induced farts…

I understand that the airlines are forced to cut costs wherever possible (hey, budget trouble is my middle name!), I also understand that beans are cheap and nutritious. But so are other frozen vegetables.

I understand that in these cost-cutting days we no longer get to choose between “chicken of beef” – on my recent SAS flight from Copenhagen to Tokyo it was just chicken, but making the meal a bit more palatable and long-haul friendly doesn’t have to be expensive.

Here’s an idea for you – cut the amount of onion by ¾ and use the money to add spinach, or carrots or beets. They are all cheap, can be found frozen or canned, can be eaten hot or cold. And best of all – they add a splash of color and texture to the usually yellow or brown mysterious goo we are forced to eat.

The morons who create economy class menus on long haul flights should be forced to eat their own pathetic creations during an actual fully-packed long haul flight. Then maybe they would come to their senses.

And please, don’t tell me that vegetarian meals are better. I’ve tried them. They just contain even more onions. And beans. - At least they do on Finnair and SAS.

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